A BDSM brat may act out to get their Dom’s attention. This can be a form of play-fighting, or a way to test the boundaries of their D/s dynamic.

Brat punishments can include spanking, revoking privileges, and gags. But it’s important to remember that all of this should be 100 percent consensual.

1. Understand Their Motivations

If you’re dealing with a brat, it helps to understand their motivations. For example, a bratty sub will often want to push their Dom’s boundaries in order to orgasm. They might speak in a hostile or energetic tone of voice, say “Ma’am” repeatedly, or flirt to trigger orgasms.

Alternatively, they might want to make their Dom feel proud of them by challenging them or acting disobediently in a playful way. They might also enjoy questioning dominance and requiring that their Dom prove their power to them, says Karsh.

As such, it’s important to communicate with your partner and discuss BDSM before bringing up the idea of brat play. This will help ensure that you’re on the same page and everyone is safe within the erotic game, says Gigi Engle. Engle, who is a writer, certified sexologist and sex coach, recommends that both partners check in with each other frequently throughout the erotic experience to make sure they’re feeling safe. She says communication is key in any BDSM dynamic, but especially so with brat play.

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2. Know Their Limitations

Being a brat is a way of being in the BDSM lifestyle that can sometimes be more than just a little bit naughty. Being a bratty sub is a variant of the DDLG role (Daddy/Dom Little Girl) and some people may have a more complex relationship with their feisty side than others do.

This type of sub enjoys testing boundaries in their relationship with a Dom. They do this to make sure that the dom is ready to tame them and corral them in their power exchange relationship. The taming process looks different for every brat, but it can include squirting punishments like paddles, hand-jobs, and oral sex.

Some brats also act out to get attention, which can be very turn on for a BDSM Dom. It is important for a dom to be able to read their behavior and recognize what turns them on, so they can continue to make the relationship fun and exciting. Then, they can reward their brat sub with a spanking or other arousing punishment when they deserve it.

3. Be Patient

Brats are naughty submissives that enjoy pushing their Dom’s boundaries. They do this for the thrill of eliciting punishment from their Dom. Often, this will occur during BDSM play or in their day-to-day interactions.

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Brat-taming is a type of submission that some Dominants crave, and it can be used for many purposes in a healthy power exchange relationship. Brats may defy their Dom’s orders or act naughty in their scene or even in everyday life. They’re doing this intentionally, with consent, and it can be a lot of fun.

It also gives the brat a way to express their kinks and personalities without breaking the rules of their Dom/sub dynamic or hurting their Dom physically or emotionally. A naughty, mischievous personality that can wind their Dom up for the pure joy of it can be very hot. Brats often do this to get a reaction, like a spanking, and some BDSM Doms find this to be a very satisfying experience as well. However, it’s not for everyone. Having a frank discussion on hard limits and what will be tolerated or not is important before introducing this into your power exchange relationship.

4. Get on the Same Page

Many doms like brats because they give them pleasure. They get a thrill out of seeing a sub push their limits and act up a storm. They may punish their bratty sub in a variety of ways, such as with a flogger or by spanking them with a belt. The key is to keep the dynamics respectful and fun.

A lot of kinksters who engage in brat BDSM describe it as a way to spice up a relationship that is stale. It can also be a great way to test a dom’s patience and wits.

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When a brat is doing her thing, she will taunt, push boundaries, and really test their partner’s limits in the hopes that they will provoke a response. It is important for the dom to communicate with their brat and make sure that everyone involved understands what they are doing, and that it’s all done with enthusiastic consent. It’s especially important to communicate when a punishment becomes too intense for comfort.

5. Be Respectful

Sometimes a sub can be a bit of a brat simply because they enjoy acting mischievous, disobedient, and cheeky. They may use their bratty behavior as a way to test the Dom’s reaction and see how they can manipulate the relationship dynamic.

Alternatively, some subs can be a little bit of a brat because they are simply looking for attention. This could be in the form of trying to get their Dominant’s attention by creating chaos or provoking them with their bratty behaviour.

Determining the motivations behind a brat’s actions is incredibly important when dealing with this type of submissive. Training, instructions, punishments, and rewards must align with these motivators in order to tame the bratty bdsm. Otherwise, the entire dynamic could quickly become out of whack. This is not a good thing in any way. In fact, a Dom should never take advantage of a submissive who is being a brat without giving them the attention they need in return. This would be a very dangerous thing to do in a power exchange relationship.